Introduction
At independent schools today, when parents desire the final outcome to be admission to a top tier college, school officials may find themselves spending more time developing a curriculum than addressing the developmental issues of teenagers. High-level science and math courses, AP foreign language classes, and accelerated summer programs have become the norm in the independent school setting. Teachers also feel the pressure of making sure they cover all the material in the curriculum to ensure that students will successfully complete APs, SATs, and other standardized assessments. However, one part of the curriculum that often goes by the wayside is advising and with it the emotional and social support a student may need to navigate his or her high school years. Teachers of adolescents must realize that their teaching extends beyond the English, history, Spanish, calculus, Greek and art class. Nevertheless, advisory usually cannot be scheduled as a class. A successful advisory program must become integrated into the day-to-day interaction between teachers and students. A solid advisory program will follow a curricular method which focuses on academic advising, helps create strategies for a student to make mature social choices, and provides basic counseling when a student faces an unsolvable problem.

Academic Advising
In an attempt to help a student feel empowered to control his or her educational destiny and more importantly to maximize his or her potential at the high school level, the advisor must guide the student to make the best course selections, which reflect the student's ability and potential achievement. In order to accomplish this the advisor must know four things about each students. First, the advisor must know the curriculum of the school and the graduation requirements. One would think that a teacher at a school would know the curriculum and the graduation requirements, but most teachers concentrate on one subject matter and often do not keep up with the curricular changes that may occur throughout a student's four-year career. Therefore, it is important that the administration provides enough support and professional development so that teachers can remain current with the required curriculum.

Second, the advisor must know the student's college or career goals. This requires the teacher to meet with the student, ask questions, and listen to what the student has to say. For example, it is important for an advisor to know if a student desires to become a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer because the teacher can help the student select the courses that will prepare the student for the particular college program.

Third, the advisor must help the student realize what his or her learning style is. If a student knows how he or she processes information, then he or she will improve the quality of his or her education. There are a number of learning style inventories available that an advisor can provide to the student, so the student may come to understand how she best learns information. The advisor and student can review the results and make this a part of their on-going discussion when they review the advisee's grades and future goals.

Finally, the advisor must help the student realize how he or she is motivated. Again this involves taking the time to listen to the student, but it is important to help the student realize if she is motivated by solving problems, helping people, providing service, producing some physical actions (whether athletic or artistic), creating a product (whether it is a bridge or a painting), or designing "things that work."

If an advisor can help the student assess these four areas, then the advisor can use these reference points as a foundation for academic advising to help the student understand what he needs to do to accomplish her goals. For example, if a student desires to become an engineer but he finds higher level math courses difficult to understand, then the advisor must help the student realize what is motivating this desire to be an engineer. The student may come to realize that the motivation is coming from parental pressure or from another source. The advisor then may turn to the student's strengths in the humanities curriculum and focus the student's attention on his strengths and his appreciation for those courses. As a result, the advisor may ask the student to research the professional fields that require a strong aptitude for language, history, psychology, and other fields related to the humanities. The advisor is not telling the student what field he should pursue, but helping the student to determine that on her own. Once the student realizes the careers that match his academic strengths, then the advisor can help the student shape an academic program to meet his educational and professional goals.

This process of advising a student regarding his academic goals will have more positive results in the long run because the student is discovering what is important to him. Using William Glasser's Choice Theory as a principle for advising, the advisor learns what is essential to the student's internal motivation. Glasser's Choice Theory is centered on five basic "genetic needs" that all humans possess:

• Survival
• Fun
• Knowledge
• Empowerment
• Love
(41-59)

The typical student attending an independent school will have his "survival" needs met unless he is failing miserably and is facing expulsion. However, does the school provide a forum both in and out of class for the other four needs to be nurtured?

The advisory system can meet the student's needs for knowledge and empowerment by following the process outlined above. The student who realizes his learning weaknesses and strengths by taking a learning inventory and reviewing it with his advisor is gaining a sense of "self" knowledge and empowerment to have some control over how he learns in and out of the classroom. Also, the process of examining his academic strengths and researching professional fields that match those strengths can fulfill the student's need for fun. In addition, if the student realizes that an adult is taking the time and effort to help the student come to this realization, then his need for love is being met. Ultimately, the student, however, is in control of his academic program and in control of his future.

Glasser's basic needs model taken from his Choice Theory provides a framework for advisors to use when dealing with their advisees. Students in general launch the school year with a sense of freshness and a desire to do well. At this point, when students receive their new books, new clothes, new schedules, they view learning as fun and knowledge as good. However, as the weeks , roll by the routine becomes monotonous and the stress increases geometrically, the students often become resistant not so much to the educational process of learning but to the school process of meaningless homework, countless tests and quizzes, and regimental schedule. As John Dewey eloquently states in Democracy and Education ,

The instinctively mobile and eagerly varying action of childhood, the love of new stimuli and new developments, too easily passes into a settling down , which means aversion to change and a resting on past achievements. Only an environment which secures the full use of intelligence in the process of forming habits can counteract this tendency (49).

It is the advisor's responsibility to assist the student through the "settling down" in order to help the student make constructive changes in her life, to set new goals so she doesn't rest "on past achievements," and provide an atmosphere of dialogue where the student can explain her frustration or loss of "love for new stimuli." Let's face it, schools are not always the best places for a student to gain an education and to foster 'the love of new stimuli and new developments." The advisor must have his finger on the pulse of the student in order to detect when a student reaches the point when she is "settling down," feeling an "aversion to change" and "resting on past achievements." The advisor can become the most significant individual in a school who can assess the environment to make sure that the leadership of the institution realizes the necessity to "secure the full use of intelligence in the process of forming habits [that] can counteract [the] tendency" for students to become lackadaisical.

The relationship between advisor and advisee can improve the overall quality of a school, but more importantly, it can ensure that the five basic needs of Glasser's Choice Theory are being met. For example, if a student's survival needs are met, and she has a support system to make sure her needs for fun, knowledge, and empowerment are met, then she will come to feel that the school is ultimately satisfying her need for love.

An advisory system that is able to accomplish what has been outlined above will help students come to know themselves. The individual relationships between advisor and advisee will help foster the student's sense of self. However, it is important to point out that all teachers are advisors to all students. Therefore, in a strong advisory system, a teacher is never not an advisor and as a result never steps out of his role as the key support system for students. Consequently, if a sense of balance, especially among Glasser's five basic needs, is a state of being based upon our decisions of how to spend our time, then students need to know themselves in order to make the best decisions for themselves (Bender 52).

These decisions that a student must make, especially the academic decision about which standardized test to take or which college to attend must ultimately be about who they are. Therefore, she must know herself, and in order for her to gain this "self" knowledge the advisor and each of her teachers must know her and foster the development of the "self." Kim Bender asserts that a strong sense of self will help students cope with the numerous choices they face with regards to course selection, extra-curricular pursuits, friendships, and the college application process (54). Her premise is based upon the student's relationship with their families, their classmates, and their teachers (54), which is why the advisor's role in getting to know the student is significant to the student getting to know herself.

In summary, the advisors role for academic advising centers around helping the student to discover her learning style, to select a challenging but realistic academic program, and to realize how much is enough. Now this will vary from one student to another, but if each student possesses a good sense of self, then the entire school environment will possess a nurturing and positive attitude.

Social Advising
The role of advisor providing guidance for teenage students in their social situations has become more expanded since the advent of households with two incomes. This places more pressure on advisors to become more involved in the welfare of the student outside of school. In addition, the latest research on brain development of teens yields significant information for advisors to consider when they deal directly with social issues of an advisee. Also, helping students to make sound decisions with regards to alcohol and drug consumption has become just as important as teaching math, science, or literature. According to Barbara Strauch's survey of literature on adolescent brain research, "Adolescence, some neuroscientists now warn, may be one of the worst time to expose a brain to drugs and alcohol" (Strauch 21). Nevertheless, even if one would share this information with a typical teenager, one would find that the peer pressure on the teen would prevail over the knowledge. Does this mean that an advisor should ignore this knowledge and not share it with an advisee? Of course not. However, the advisor must discuss with the student what is at stake both in and out of school. In addition, the advisor must avoid preaching and attempt to persuade the advisee to look at the big picture. Listening and questioning will become key characteristics of an advisor / advisee conversation at least as far as the advisor is concerned.

There are three things that an advisor can do to help students cope with the myriad of social pressures that bite at their heals as they walk through adolescents. First, the advisor should help the student identify and discuss social pressures. Inevitably, students will face tough decisions: to drink or abstain, to use drugs or abstain, to have sex or abstain. These are tough decisions, but they must be dealt with directly. Initiating a dialogue about drugs, alcohol and sex "sends the message that you care, that you are clued in, and that you are realistic" (Riera 13). Students engage in these behaviors for a number of reasons: to reduce stress, to feel good, to be included, to demonstrate love, to fit in, to act cool, to avoid depression, to relax, to be comfortable in new situations, and a host of other reasons. The advisor can help the advisee discover why she engages in certain risky behaviors.

This conversation will not occur on the first or second meeting.

The relationship between the advisor and advisee must be based on mutual trust and respect, and those two characteristics take time to develop. As a result, the first time the subject of "risky behavior" is initiated, the advisor will probably find himself in a one-sided conversation. However, the conversation should center on helping the student think through these issues. The conversation cannot afford to be interpreted as an interrogation or prying into the personal life of the student. Otherwise, the student will never trust the advisor enough to engage in full dialogue on these subjects. Also, the conversation needs to focus on the health and safety of the advisee. It is the advisor's responsibility to know facts about risky behaviors with regards to the basic legal implications, the school's alcohol and drug policy, programs that can help teenagers at risk, referral procedure, and the tendencies of the student population as to what risky behaviors they participate in. The advisor will not use all of the knowledge to bombard the student with a plethora of questions or statements, but he should use this knowledge as needed.

Second, an advisor should help a student develop strategies to cope with the social pressures. Generally, it is too late to create a strategy to escape trouble when one is in the midst of the trouble. Strategies need to be generated before a situation occurs. It is similar to developing an escape route for a family in the event of a house fire. Knowing what to do before the problem occurs will help reduce student panic, stress, and irresponsible decision-making. Telling a teenager to just say no is not realistic. Sitting down with an advisee and discussing these tough topics, offering opinions and insights, creating strategies, exchanging ideas, talking about "what if" scenarios, and generating mutual understanding of what is reasonable will give the student some of the tools that she will need to respond to a situation where she is facing the choice to drink or not to drink, to be included or excluded, to engage in sex or to abstain. These are tough choices.

Third, the advisor must remain rational and supportive when a student stumbles. Teenagers will make mistakes; therefore, the advisor needs to become the support system when a student faces the disciplinary consequences of a poor choice. For example, if a student is suspended and placed on disciplinary probation for violating the school's alcohol and drug policy, the student will need support from the advisor. The support is clarifying why what the student did was wrong, helping the student cope with the punishment, and valuing the experience as a life lesson. This will help the student make a more mature decision in the future when facing a similar dilemma. In summary, an advisor will realize that developmentally, teenagers live in the moment and in any given moment a teenager's decision whether good or bad will seem defensible and in the moment is the teenager's home base (Riera, 9). Ultimately, if the advisor can move the student to think about the question, "How will I feel about myself tomorrow?" The advisor will have provided a tremendous service to the student.

Advising Turned Counseling
In The Winter of Our Discontent , John Steinbeck writes, "When a condition or a problem becomes too great, humans have the protection of not thinking about it. But it goes inward and minces up with a lot of other things already there and what comes out is discontent and uneasiness, guilt and a compulsion to get something - anything - before it is all gone" (197). The wisdom expressed by John Steinbeck will strike a chord with any one who works with high school students. The need for high school students to have a support system, especially in this day and age of "get into the best college," may be paramount to anything else they receive in their course load. Students need to rely on "experts" to help them sort through the stress of everyday life, so they don't seek the "protection of not thinking about it" and to help avoid the "discontent and uneasiness" of being a teenager. Teachers involved in an advisory program must provide a safe haven so "a condition or a problem" doesn't "become too great."

It is safe to say that teachers by their nature desire to solve problems. This characteristic, as noble as it seems, often becomes a hurdle to helping a student resolve issues. An advisor must learn the difference between his advising role and his counseling role. Also, he must accept the paradox of taking what may seem to be a passive role in order to be active . Often the terms advising and counseling are synonymous, but the two terms are quite different. The following comparison between advising and counseling provides a thumbnail sketch of the two terms:

Advising Counseling
Task orientedProcess oriented

Talk Listen

External RealityInternal Reality

Behavioral Context Emotional Context

Acting Out Self disclosure

Reactions Feelings

Prescriptive Evocative

Advisor has data Student has data

Solve Problem (short term)Growth Maturation (long term)

"Fix" it Clarify Feelings

Do something Let process work

Sense of urgency Patience

Advice Self Discovery

Closure Open Ended

(Source: The Stanley H. King Counseling Institute Notebook)

An advisor must be comfortable switching roles from someone who controls the conversation and the agenda, to someone who listens and receives the agenda from the student. The advisor must determine when a student's problem is solvable and when a student's problem is unsolvable. For example, if a student whose parent just died shares her pain with her advisor, then an advisor must recognize that this is not a solvable problem. Therefore, the advisor may clarify the student's feeling, become an active listener, and help the student realize her internal reality. Also, the advisor must realize that the student's feelings are unique. Therefore, even if the advisor has suffered the same loss, the experience is not similar.

The counseling situation puts the student in control, and according to Glasser's model offers the student empowerment over her feelings and emotions. In a counseling context, the advisor helps the student clarify and give appellation to the feelings that she is experiencing. In other words, tagging the feelings with words such as grief, sadness, anger and acknowledging that these feelings are real and reasonable will give the advisee a sense of empowerment over the difficult situation. The advisor does not tell the advisee how to feel. Much too often the advisor with good intentions will tell an advisee not to feel sad or not to cry and things will get better. However, one cannot help how one feels. Therefore, the advisor is in the position to clarify feelings, to listen to what the advisee is saying, and to provide a process in which these feelings can freely be explored. As a result "the goal of psychological health then is not to dispose of anxiety, the existence which is a given, but to learn how to transform such anxiety – and to direct that energy into work, art, relationship, or some kind of meaningful engagement in the world" (Riera 279).

The advisor's role as counselor is to let the student discover how to transform anxiety to achieve equilibrium, which will require time and patience on the part of both the student and the advisor. After all, teenagers struggle to maintain their levels of involvement and achievement for almost a year when attempting to adjust to a death, a divorce or some other serious crisis (Riera 281). Another important fact that an advisor needs to consider when counseling an advisee is to realize when a referral to a psychologists or psychiatrists is necessary. This step may save the student's life. Nevertheless, the relationship between the advisor and advisee needs to remain intact. The advisor should approach the issue with caution and sensitivity by suggesting that the advisee may want to consider seeing a psychologist or psychiatrist and offering the benefits of working with a professional counselor. The advisor needs to make it clear that he is not passing on the problems of the advisee to someone else. Therefore, the advisor must keep the lines of communication open. The advisor must remain present for the advisee, continue to acknowledge the feelings of the advisee, and show support for the advisee even when she begins receiving professional counseling.

Conclusion
In an independent school that possesses a strong advisory program the advisor is the central figure in the student's school life. As a matter of fact, the advisor may act as a safety net by anticipating problems before they occur. The advisor monitors the academic, social, and personal life of the advisee. Teaching in an independent school goes far beyond the subject expertise of the teacher. It centers on teaching life: how to live it; how to cope with it; how to deal with it; and how to love it. Teaching is no longer simply a matter of giving instructions in math, science, English, or history, but it requires listening, caring, and supporting a student in all facets of her development. At an independent school, an investment must be made, so teachers can teach the whole child. An advisory program, therefore, requires commitment from the administration to provide the funds and time for professional development, so all advisors have the skills and know how to deal with any crisis a student brings to the table.

WORKS CITED

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Steinbeck, John. The Winter of Our Discontent . Penguin. New York. Library Biding, 1999.

Strauch, Barbara. The Primal Teen: What the New Discoveries About the Teenage Brain Tell us About Our Kids . Doubleday. New York, 2003.

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Silberman, Charles E. Crisis in the Classroom . Random House. New York, 1970.

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Tim Gavin is Dean of Students at Episcopal Academy in Pennsylvania. You can contact him at tgavin@ea1785.org.

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